Feeding Babies

My daughter is now a toddler so I think I can safely write a few things I learned about feeding her solids as a baby. Hopefully this information will be useful to other new parents. I garnered most of this info from reading books, talking to my daughter's pediatrician, and by using my intuition, which has been a huge help in this adventure called motherhood.

First off, I learned it doesn't make sense to offer a baby any solid food until he or she has lost their tongue thrust reflex. Otherwise, they just send it back out again.

Second, I learned when babies need the nutrition from solid food they also become developmentally ready for it. Around six months of age, babies begin needing more iron and other nutrients than is supplied from breastmilk and/or formula. At about this same time, they loose their tongue thrust reflex and can sit up well enough to be feed and swallow something solid. They can also pay attention and be involved.

Third, eating something solid is a learning experience for them. We are so accustomed to eating we can fail to be aware of all the ways in which eating is a new experience for babies. If you are learning to control your tongue and to push food around in your mouth, "eating" a bad tasting pureed jarred "baby food" wouldn't teach you anything. You can't manipulate it and it tastes horrible. A semi-solid bit of rice cereal mixed with breastmilk or formula would be something you could move around and would taste good.

Fourth, if you were given something new to eat, something you had never seen before and knew nothing about, wouldn't you check it out first? Wouldn't you touch it, smell it, see if it was cold or hot, etc.? That's just what babies are doing. They need to touch their food to do some preliminary investigation before trying some and especially before swallowing some. All this investigation adds up to a mess. But mess is the cost of doing business. (There are limits of course. I gave my baby daughter thick rice cereal once so she could practice feeding herself. It was a total disaster. It got everywhere!)

Fifth, feeding involves control. When you feed yourself you decide, and have control over, when you eat, what you eat, where you eat, how much, how fast, and even whether you eat something or not. When feeding your baby, you must share these decisions. You can choose when and where and what to feed your baby, but you can't decide how much, how fast, and whether your baby is hungry or not. It's not for you to say. Only your baby knows. So feeding involves paying close attention to your baby's signals. Is she interested in having another bite? Is she making eye contact with you or the spoon? Is he turning his head away when you bring up the spoon? Is he keeping his mouth closed? Are you getting frustrated? Are you beginning to slip food in his mouth while he isn't looking? Or thinking he has to finish what's left? If you are, stop. It isn't for you to say. Let your baby be in control. (Not to freak you out, but eating disorders involve someone's right and natural ability to regulate how much they eat and whether they eat being taken away or undermined. Your baby, like all of us, has an innate ability to regulate so don't get in the way.)

Lastly, taste matters. My daughter eats well today because food I make tastes good. I keep things simple. It's easier for me and better for both of us. She has many chances to get acquainted with tastes and flavors and to decide if she likes something or not. I am honest with her when it comes to food.

I was surprised how important I found feeding my daughter to be. It isn't only about how delicious, natural, or healthy (or organic or perfect or etc...) the food I choose is. Many other factors are important. In feeding her, I am teaching her how to eat respectfully as well as healthfully. Don't underestimate what is involved, especially considering the world we live in. For more information about feeding babies and children see my recommended books link.

Susan